AlterPolitics

I got a bit bored last night, so took to writing/Tweeting some Dick Cheney Heart Transfer Jokes.

Yes, some are not very good. And unfortunately, the best ones are entirely inappropriate, but hey, the guy’s a war criminal, so spare me the outrage.

Here they are (in 140 characters or less):

10. Hope Dick Cheney pulls through. Don’t want him evading justice that easily.

9. Dick Cheney will live to torture us another day.

8. When I said before that Dick Cheney was heartless, you though I was kidding around.

7. Haven’t listened to Chris Matthews in months, but I predict he lectured his viewers tonight that it’s pronounced Cheenie, not Cheney.

6. To allow 71 year old war criminal to cut ahead in long waiting list (where children get priority), anonymous donor was secretly a chimp.

5. With five heart attacks already under his belt, Cheney feels new heart may give him an edge in topping the all-time record.

4. Poor Dick feared he’d shot his last friend in the face.

3. Anonymous donor turned out to be Liz Cheney. She’d had it on ice for well over a decade.

2. If I’m David Gregory, I don’t wanna be eating any Scottish Haggis at Liz’s house, unless she can show me her father’s in a jar.

1. 5 heart attacks and a heart transfer, and he’s still here? It’s as if Hell won’t even have anything to do with him.

BONUS: Amnesty International told doctors, in advance, if they were to accidentally forget to administer the anesthesia, even they’d look the other way. 

 Thank you! **bows** Thank you! Thank you! **bows again**

NEW ADDITIONS:

1. Dick Cheney went into heart surgery bitching about Iran. He emerged from surgery vowing to conquer world poverty.

2. They attempted to grow Cheney’s heart using his DNA & stem cells in petri dish, but it kept turning to shit.

3. We still got Dick Cheney to kick around.

UPDATE:

FELT I SHOULD ADD:   Before anyone feels too sorry for Dick Cheney, remember that he made nearly $8 million from Halliburton stock option appreciation just between the years 2004 and 2005, due to the Iraq War, which he mislead us into.

In that war, hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis lost their lives, thousands of U.S. troops lost their lives, 2 million Iraqis lost their homes and became displaced.

Dick Cheney tortured people, around 100 of which died from torture.

Dick Cheney feels no remorse. He says he would do it all again: the Iraq War, the torturing, everything…

He is estimated to be worth around $100 million, walking the streets a free person (despite all the calamity he has caused), and he even gets to appear on the MSM whenever he wants, to weigh in on current events, and continue his fear mongering.

Since he is unlikely to ever face justice for his crimes against humanity (and his profiteering from it), the least we can do, is poke some fun at him on the heels of his successful surgery, that so ironically involved his ‘heart.’